Is It Too Late to Start Again At 40? Spoiler Alert: Absolutely Not.

Gemma North
Jun 5
3 min read

The Myth of “Too Late”

When I decided to pivot careers, from actor to confidence coach, I had that uneasy, gut-sinking feeling that I’d missed my ‘moment’. That somehow, it was too late.

I’d spent twenty years, elbows out, bulldozing my way into casting rooms, crashing networking events, and busting a gut in front of the camera to push my acting career as far as it could go.

That tenacity? It was my superpower. It helped me achieve a kind of success I’m still incredibly proud of. So to suddenly retrain and start again at 40? Terrifying.

The questions came thick and fast:

– Would it take me another twenty years to feel successful again?

– How long would it take to feel financially stable?

– Would people think I was a fraud?

– Was I being selfish, with a family depending on me?

– And would anyone even get what coaching is?

Jumping off the diving board at 40 into the unknown may sound brave, and yes, it was. But I nearly didn’t do it. Why? Because of this question:

Is it too late to start again at 40?

The train was already on the track, and derailing it felt catastrophic. I feared I was too old to learn something new. That I’d be judged for putting myself first and finally aligning my life with my values.

But I’ve come to realise: this fear? It’s not unique. So many of the women I coach feel exactly the same. Their own voice has been drowned out by years of serving, pleasing, and putting themselves last. And it reveals itself in the quiet, aching loss of self-confidence.

When Confidence Gets Drowned Out

Somewhere between feeding everyone else, replying to never-ending WhatsApp groups, and wondering if your pelvic floor will ever be the same again, confidence can quietly pack up and leave.

And often, we don’t even notice it’s gone until we try to speak up, show up, or step up and something inside us whispers, “Who do you think you are?”

This isn’t just your voice. I hear it from client after client, women who once described themselves as fearless, funny, dynamic, now questioning their worth, their value, their relevance.

Not because they’ve changed or failed but because they’ve been conditioned to fade into the background and retreat into their comfort zone.

The Comfort Zone Conundrum

Ah, the comfort zone. Isn’t it just delicious? Like a duvet on a cold, rainy day. You know that if you ventured out into the drizzle, it might actually be quite invigorating. But the duvet? It’s just… so… squishy. So familiar. So safe.

But let’s be honest, what life-changing opportunities are going to find you under a duvet?

The real magic happens when you muster the courage to stick out a toe, maybe even both feet, into the unknown. It doesn’t have to be a grand leap. Sometimes, the smallest step outside your comfort zone is enough to shift something inside you; to awaken that part of you that’s been quietly craving more.

The Game-Changer? Your Tribe.

Let me tell you something that makes a huge difference: your tribe. People who cheer instead of compete. Who say, “You can absolutely do this,” when your own brain is throwing doubts around. Who message you after a workshop and say, “That thing you said? That changed something for me.”

Women in particular have been taught to compare, to downplay, to compete; but solidarity? That’s the antidote to self-doubt. When one woman goes for it, unapologetically, it gives the rest of us permission to do the same.

What Comfortable Confidence Really Looks Like

Let’s be clear, I’m not talking about sashaying into a room like Beyoncé. (Though if you do that, power to you.)

Comfortable confidence is the quieter, steadier kind. It’s knowing who you are and trusting her, even when the world gets loud and messy.

It doesn’t mean you’re never scared. It means you know the fear isn’t a stop sign, it’s just your brain trying to keep you wrapped up in that squishy duvet.

So, Is It Too Late To Start Again At 40?

Too late for what? Too late to learn? To try? To realign? I call absolute codswallop.

Some of the best conversations I’ve had, the boldest decisions I’ve witnessed, have come from women over 40 who finally gave themselves permission to start again.

You’re not behind. You’re just getting started. But this time with experience, perspective, and (hopefully) your tribe of kick-ass people rooting for you.